Thoughts on Gay Marriage!
1) Gay marriage is not natural, and, as Americans, we reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and lyposuction.
2) Gay marriage will encourage straight people to be gay in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because dogs have legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all. Women are still property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriages would be